Physical Abuse
Feeling angry, hurt, or upset at times is normal. But feeling scared, humiliated, pressured, or controlled is not the way a relationship should make you feel. Physical abuse does not occur in healthy and happy relationships where people feel good, safe, and excited about the future. When individuals are in a healthy relationship, they feel free to be themselves and express their thoughts and opinions without fear of retaliation from their loved one. Unfortunately many people are in unsafe and physically abusive relationships. Physical abuse can happen to anyone.
What about sexual violence
Abusive relationships may include sexual violence, which is a form of physical violence. Loving someone does not mean that you can never say "no" to sex. No matter what kind of relationship you have, if you are forced to have sex, it is rape. If you are humiliated or forced to be sexual in any way, that is sexual abuse.
How to recognize when a friend needs help:
Does your friend’s partner...
- Hit, push, shove, punch, kick, choke, or bite your friend?
- Restrain, hold your friend down, or use other kinds of force during an argument?
- Have violent mood swings?
- Threatened your friend?
- Break or throw objects?
- Leave your friend stranded in dangerous places?
- Refuse to help your friend out or keep your friend from going to the doctor or getting medicine?
- Touch your friend in a way that makes him or her uncomfortable?
- Force your friend to engage in sexual activity?
- Insult your friend in a sexual way?
- Have a history of physically abusing a partner in the past?
If you've answered yes to any of these questions, your friend may not be safe in his or her relationship and it may get worse.
Some effects of physical abuse include:
- Physical: bruises, wounds, broken bones, back and/or pelvic pain, gynecological disorders, pregnancy difficulties, STDs, gastrointestinal disorders, central nervous system disorders, and heart or circulatory conditions
- Psychological: symptoms of post-traumatic disorder, depression, antisocial behavior, anxiety, low self-esteem, inability to trust people, fear of intimacy, sleep difficulties, and suicide ideation
- Social: r estricted access to services, strained relationships with health providers and employers and isolation from social networks
- Health Behaviors: engaging in high risk sexual behavior, using or abusing harmful substances, unhealthy diet-related behaviors, and overuse of health services
How can you take care of yourself?
- Don’t blame yourself and don’t excuse your partner’s behavior.
- Refuse to be abused. Leave the area if you don’t feel safe.
- Think about ending the relationship for your own health.
- Think about your safety and create a plan. In case you need to get to a safe place, always carry enough money when you are out.
- Call a crisis helpline or women’s shelter for advice.
- Seek help from friends, family, or your health care provider.
How to help a friend?
- Don't try to "take control.”
- Recognize that physical abuse has an impact on an individual’s overall health.
- Assure them that you believe them and that you take physical abuse seriously.
- Gather information about physical abuse and the resources available. You don't have to solve the problem, but you can provide support and information.
- Encourage your friend to create a safety plan.
- Do not blame them or make excuses for their partner.
- Ask them how you can help.
- Help them to recognize their strengths and feel better about themselves.
- Respect their decisions and provide support if they stay. An individual may not want to leave a partner, even if you think that is what is best.
Where can you go for help?
Campus Experts
Student Health Services, 314.935.6666. Call to schedule an appointment with a counselor to talk about physical abuse.
On-Line Resources
- Is this Love? How to Tell if Your Relationship is Good for You
- Are You Safe in Your Relationship?
- Go Ask Alice
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Family Violence Prevention Fund
How can I learn more?
Professional
Health Promotion Services provides brochures and other resources. To request a program, contact Melissa Ruwitch at 314.935.7139 or via email
Peer
Uncle Joe’s Peer Counseling and Resource Center, 24 hour hotline, 314.935.5099. If you wish to speak to someone in person, visit the Uncle Joe’s office in the basement of Gregg Hall, 10pm-1am nightly.
